i've got a heart of lead.

anyway i just finished a pretty spectacular fanfic about superman and lex luthor getting it on. it's a really happy sunshiney family story about clark, lex, and their genetically engineered lovechild Kon aka Superboy.

That's not something some poor fanfic writer made up, actually. Superboy is actually a part of the DC Universe, like some bunch of professional writers came together, did a couple lines of the good ol' white and brite and shat this shit out. "Test tube baby created with Lex and Superman's DNA" my ass. It sounds like they worked it backwards. "Lex and Superman have lovechild, how do we make this feasible?????"

I have to send this to Cory, he would shit himself.

It's pretty sexy though.

why am i such a stickler for gay sex? what is it about the tenderness and the gay and the men and the penises (penii?) that get me all warm and fuzzy?

am wondering if i am really a gay man in woman's body, and wouldn't i like a thing to stick into other things.

i've a hollow in this tree.

watching bill o'reilly do antics on youtube. i hate when fundamentalists get together and spout shit. it's one of those cases where you talk so much shit you end up talking shit on yourself. pretty hilarious, and sad. and annoying. too much shouting.

sad sad sad. saaad.

money corrupts, buy a puppy.

so life has been equal parts boring and wonderful, like the birth of a calf in rural Tennessee.

sold 1135 dollars yesterday in facepaints. this is remarkable for several reasons:

a. i did probably over 60-70 facepaints. this means more than 60 kids had parents willing to shell out almost 20 dollars each for a slice of transient and washable happiness. and more glitter than they've ever known. what better metaphor is there to describe the intangibility of our desires than the facepaint? I see parents getting angry over how expensive water is in Disneyland, or how expensive are pickles. But those things are valuable in intrinsic ways. What the fuck does a facepaint give you except maybe fifteen minutes of pure childish glee and then four or five more hours of consciously and carefully trying to get your money's worth?

plastic surgery is probably the next least useful thing on the list for similar reasons.

b. i got paid a 21% cut of 1135 dollars, which, though being a paltry sum in comparison, means I made roughly 29 dollars per hour yesterday.

c. once you hit your first 1000, the company gives you a 100 dollar bonus.

d. my paycheck is going to be fat next week.

e. i'm guilty about being this happy about bullshit.


In other news, I can't get my life together.

Harmony Korine was on Indie 103.1 today, on Joe Escalante's morning show. They waxed poetic about various things, mostly centered around Korine's filmography and his fantastic life.

The interview reminded me of one of Bright Eye's albums in which Conor Oberst stages a radio interview and fucks with the host in his tremulous and neurotic way. I guess both Korine and Oberst have that spring-coil springtime fragility in common. That and crack cocaine.

Korine is at least more coherent than in his interview with David Letterman almost 10 years back, where he is so drugged up he can't even finish sentences.

But I'm glad I caught that interview this morning, it made my day. Definitely seeing Mister Lonely on May 9th.

Got drunk friday night with my favorite cousin and mon frere. Mon frere is already on his way to alcoholism, having previously magicked away all the wine bottles in our household, so he did okay. But me and mike kinda overdid it. we watched darjeeling limited, which is a fun and pretty movie to see drunk.

I threw up on my bed, which is not so fun and pretty. Spent the next two days managing that mess, which is for the most part taken care of.

Mum's in San Jose until tonight, so am funked out about how to manage the household until then.

I need to see Rocky Horror Picture Show. Someone remind me I have that on my desk.

I want a vanilla bean. I want to facepaint ice cream cones. I want things. I want to want something better than things.

Had hideous stomach flu.

The last time I went to the doctor was on January 30, 2008. There on their Reality Scales, I weighed 141.8 lbs.

Saturday, April 5th, 2008, I stepped on that mighty plate and came in at a less hefty but still hefty 136.4 lbs.

141.8
136.4
-------
5.4 lbs lost.

Hooh-Ray! What a feat for the lump.

3 cholos blew kisses at me today while I was at the atm. And me the racist was scared of being robbed. All they wanted to do was me. :[ I oughta be ashamed.

Thinking of writing things down, thinking of really doing them. Thinking of all the lists I have written and have never looked at again. I think I am a thinker, not really a doer. That doing is for others to do, and what I am for is for thinking.

Watched Mr. Magorium's Magical Emporium today at Tiffany's house. What a splendid movie. A bit short, but I guess when it's for kids these days you have to cut things short and put a bunch of sprinkles on it. It had Natalie Portman AND Dustin Hoffman, two things dear to me.

And the monkey. You know the :( monkey. Awwwwwwww monkey.

CLOSURE!

Tiff got into Soka University, which is a school she is v. excited about. :D I am glad for her. In a way she has become like my little sister, of whom I am very secretly protective and boastful. And a bit jealous. I guess I feel kind of like James, in that she is more talented than I am. Like a kind of Russian Doll thing.

Really want to make stuffed animals. Starting off with that treeling. Kind of want to really go to Michael's like now, but will probably end up going tomorrow. Seeing as I have important business to attend to. What time does Michael's open?

How big will the Treeling end up? If I give it to Mr. Durand, will he appreciates it?

I should have a wicker basket of stuffed animals on my dresser. How entertaining! And a red coat rack. And a wood floor. And a ceiling that is..... yellow!

How charming!

Comme c'est curieux comme c'est bizarre.


Martin?

MARTIN?

Lately when I have let my brain go it runs like my dog around the room.

I could have deep v's in any and every color. They are so charmant. Mais si cher.

asdlkfja;kdf

Emmanuel has been sick. It makes me very lonely as he has not had the energy or the stomach to deal with my pining and irascible sadness.

The more I love something the more I fear losing it.

The sad thing is he fell in love with me thinking I was so grown-up. Sorry sunshine, I am a small, needy kitten.