The Dangerous Twist

Had fantastic day today.

First woke up a bit angry at Emmanuel cuz he said something insensitive last night but it wore off by the time I got over to Riverside. We went to Mt. Rubidoux and climbed to the top (which is a hillside stroll compared to the hikes in Yosemite that I remember), and basically had a splendid and sweaty morning. Emmanuel of course had to do something to prove his virility and jumped from one rock to another, lost his balance and nearly fell to his death. :\ His arm got scratched up, the silly goose.

Well, not to his death, but you know.

We ate sandwiches for brunch and napped. Drove back to my house and slept/sexed for an hour while my dad was in the house. I think it thrilled him to be so near death.

Got tacos at the place Casian recommended. Pretty good. Paid in quarters cuz I'm broke as fuck. Drove Emmanuel back to Riverside where I couldn't leave him for an hour.

We talked about any number of topics, but the one that stuck was when we talked about me having sex with other people. I guess he thinks it's inevitable that I would sleep with other people, and that he sort of wanted me to go out and experience other things.

But I still feel that I can't do that to him. Even with his approval or whatever, it just seems too wrong, too selfish, too hurtful. Cuz you know you can say one thing, but when it comes down to it, it will hurt and hurt and.

Found out about summer school in Montreal. Sounds super interesting, kind of want to go for it. It's 1020 dollars for the whole thing not including traveling and spending expenses. There's supposedly a 600 dollar grant but I dunno.

Montreal! Such a fine city, of French and music and beauty and wonder! And I could see Ed? Oh wonders of wonders!

What if Emmanuel could come, and I could tuck him away in a box? He would love the Jazz Festival, I think. Oh wonders! WONDERS! lol.