The Dangerous Twist

the restroom in the school library is a sauna. a gross fucking sauna. it's humid in there, and i feel i am breathing the warm collective steam of everyone's little shitbowl.

like a dog grooming parlor where the pooches get steambathed. fucking gross.

While in there I wondered if every life is a particular formula, or if every life has its particular forumulas, in which people are variables, in which fate is a constant, and the equation produces various amounts of happiness or hate or sex or what.

the toilet really is a spot for thinky-dinking.

dirty thinking.

even in the two weeks since i have picked up my paycheck, i have managed to spend some 350 dollars. almost. am clinging to thin principles like a dick to a condom.

I want red eyeshadow. Why is this so difficult to get??

Why do I want?

Waited some five hours for the boyfriend to get off work yesterday. he was supposed to get off at four, they kept him till 7. I had already gotten there at 1.

that's more like 6, isn't it?

but it was worth it, to be with him, and to make him a little happier at the end of his day. he worked nearly 12 hours for shit pay. that's like 96 dollars.

God knows if I worked a 12 hour shift at facepainting from 8 to 8 I prolly woulda made 200 or better. It's not fair, dude. I fucking facepaint.

He produces useful service to shitty customers. It really isn't fair.

But anyways I got intimate with the inner workings of the Galleria at Tyler in Riverside. I guess this is a pretty massive mall in Riverside. Judging by the stores in there and the availability and variety of products I'm going to go ahead and say that it's somewhere in between Main Place and South Coast, but definitely closer to Main Place. I probably walked through the mall's two floors four or five times and went into almost all of the stores except the puppy store which smells like a dingy beach restroom and is full of suffocated and half-dead pups nestled in shredded newspaper like broken porcelain figures at the Goodwill.

All in all spent six dollars which is pretty good considering I used to drop eighty dollars at the drop of a hat. Now spending six dollars on a hamburger seems an atrocious price to pay. I like my newfound sense of thrift. It validates me.

Bought a stick of rock candy, pellegrino, and a pair of 9 ft. shoelaces for the Docs Emmanuel bought me. Had no idea that twenty-eyes required such work and such huge amounts of string.

When I get home tonight I shall spend some time making those boots feel loved. Reminds me I have shoe polish and some moleskin left over. Contemplating buying one of those shoe sole things since the soles in mine seem like to blister my feet worse than the road to Golgotha.

I waaaant to see my boyfriend tomoorrroooowwwwww. :[

btw wondering if the human body is like a star or Io, largest moon of Jupiter, in which outer forces affect the inner forces deep inside us and therefore cause the myriad rifts and shifts on our geological planes much like tidal forces from Jupiter cause friction within Io's core and produces volcanic activity on its surface.

Would explain my whiteheads in any case.